Marriage is one of life’s biggest commitments, and because of that, it can be hard to accept when it starts getting rocky. But to find out what’s best for you and your partner, it’s essential to identify when you might need to start looking at the problems and seeing what step is best next.
Whether it’s going through couple’s counseling to try and mend things or coming to the conclusion that a separation is in order, you can save a lot of heartbreak and resources if you are both willing to get help.
Here are some signs you may need to get outside assistance from a professional.
Miscommunication has become the norm
An essential part of keeping a marriage healthy is through communication. There are many ways that you could be developing a toxic cycle of miscommunication. This can present itself in varying degrees as well.
Arguments may ensue more often, and you misunderstand each other easily. Perhaps you are no longer on the same page, and words are becoming twisted and misconstrued. This can be worsened by decidedly avoiding talks altogether or further projecting your interpretations to each other.
Even when things are well-meant, once this norm has been established, everything will be tinged with tension, and you may have difficulty figuring out what’s best for each other. Divorce mediation experts in Long Island particularly note that their role usually comes in with the desire to end things amicably and without the need for the turmoil of court procedures.
This is especially relevant for couples who have reached a point where they cannot coexist well enough but still want to cut their ties without hurting each other any further.
You no longer see each other as confidantes
Trust is in the deepest foundation of marriage, and the way two people can live with each other generally follows this aspect first. Once you start building up secrets from each other, it’s already safe to say it’s problematic.
Warning signs that you’re reaching this stage also include feelings of not wanting to open up anymore. This also takes recognizing the motivations each person has for withholding information or feeling closed off. There may be underlying factors that you have difficulty broaching to each other at this point.
Once the wall has been built, it can be easier to tear it down when you have a counselor who can guide you through it and provide a sounding board for both of you.
Intimacy is gone
This covers both emotional and physical intimacy, even beyond the bedroom. It goes down to even the simplest things like being able to hold each other’s hands, to comfort each other, and have an environment of support.
Lack of either physical or emotional connection can ball up into a bigger disconnect, especially as one can inform the other. When you are in the same bed as someone who starts feeling like a stranger, that can create unease in the home and even trickle over to other aspects of your life.
Having to take a look at the problems that plague your relationship may be an unpleasant process, but it’s better to figure out the cause and fix the symptoms rather than wait for it to consume you. In the end, a marriage is about wanting what’s best for your other half, no matter what step you choose to take.